And breathe, 2, 3, 4...

I've decided that we are too immature to bring a child into this world. Our first birthing class together confirmed this very idea. Within five minutes of our arrival Ross told me that he was in a laughing mood. When I asked what he meant, he took me back to our marriage counseling--possibly one of the most awkward moments we have shared. What he was referring to was when he snickered out loud, on more than one occasion, when our pastor said, "sex". It was like he had all of a sudden reverted back to an adolescent male. I was totally embarrassed, to say the least, and here he was again confessing that he was in the same type of mood.

Class got under way, but the relaxation music and awkwardness of sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers didn't go away. At one point the instructor showed an animated clip of a baby exiting the birth canal, which seemed relatively effortless. Trying to be funny, she followed it up by saying, "It rotated correctly and flew out of the womb like a space baby." I don't know if it was the way she said it, or just the mere fact that she referred to the baby as a space baby, but Ross and I couldn't help but to start snickering to ourselves in the back of the room. After class Ross told me that all he could think about at that moment was the dinner prayer in Talladega Nights about the "Little, sweet baby Jesus". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amyjDQiFsJ8

Later in the class we had to practice breathing and relaxation techniques, which included having chapstick readily available to "wet her whistle", to which Ross wrote down chopsticks and questioned their use as a biting tool (he couldn't read her writing on the board). We also had to rock back and forth, massage our legs, and breath in rhythmic cycles...in front of other people! Neither Ross nor I (because he had a turn as well) could look at each other or we would bust out laughing again. When asked to give positive reinforcement, Ross told me that we kicked the contraction's a$$, but after class corrected this statement by telling me that I actually sucked because I wasn't putting forth my best effort. :) :)

Here we come, Class #2!!

Connie's Creations

It's official...our unborn child is already spoiled by Grandma Connie. My mom has been on a marathon sewing spree over the last couple of weeks--trying to fit in all of these wonderful baby projects before taking off to Europe for the next three weeks. She has a few other commitments when she returns, so the way she figures it, she has only four weeks back in Iowa before Baby Mort arrives. :)

This first one is a sensory, or tag blanket. I explained to Ross that babies love to feel the different textures--to which he replied, "What? Soft and soft...?" Parenting is going to be so much fun! ;)

This pattern is actually called a "jug jacket". I'll let you figure it out. :)


She also made me a sling. It has a pocket on the front for a cellphone, along with a keyring. Farmer's market and Jordan Creek, here we come!


These are some diaper changing pads for the bassinet or wherever we happen to find a spot to change the little one. They are quite soft!


She also made a plethora of burp cloths and receiving blankets--great for swaddling. :)


I suppose it's also time for some more belly pictures. My clothes seem to be working overtime these days, but I can't complain. I continue to be amazed with how far my belly can project out from the rest of my body. My belly-button finally gave in this week and showed itself to the rest of the world. I can't help but to be reminded of the Pillsbury Doughboy on a daily basis. :)


I was just seeing if you were actually paying attention. If the string wasn't there, I may have confused many of you. That is about the height that many pregnant women around town seem to be carrying their babies. I, on the other hand, am carrying extremely low. Some say that means it's a boy and others say that means it's a girl. I guess we're just going to have to wait and see. Here's the real picture of us at 30 weeks. :)

And I have to leave you with one final laugh... :) :) It may be the last straight-on one I take--Crazy!

Look! No hands!

Some of you asked for pictures of Matt and Lauren's little girl, Claire, weeks ago, so here ya' go. :) Since she was born, we usually go over to their house, but last night they decided to try it out at our place. Claire loved it--especially when everyone rocked out to Guitar Hero. She even cooperated while we played cards. She's growing so fast!

Man Overboard! (And wife and baby too!)

I will take full credit for this one! Ross and I decided to take Mustard Millie (as I refer to her) out on the Raccoon River after work last night. We should have taken it as a sign for the events to come when I almost let Ross back the Taurus onto the dock. He would have, too, if it were not for a nice onlooker yelling at him to stop. (I was too busy making sure the boat didn't hit the dock.)

So after a ridiculously difficult rigging and departure from the dock, Ross told me to take the tiller and steer while he adjusted the main sail. Like I knew what the h--- I was doing!! Within five minutes...and I kid you not, I had capsized Mustard Millie. Both of us dumped into the water, along with all of our belongings.

The next five minutes were a blur as I panicked (almost seven months pregnant) swimming alongside of the boat watching Ross get it upright again. He succeeded, but we had no way of getting the two feet of water out of our boat, except for manually scooping it out by hand. No, we were not successful. It was miserable.

I told Ross that twenty years from now we would look back and laugh at the whole thing, but it didn't take nearly that long. We were laughing and pointing out how utterly ridiculous the whole situation was ten minutes later (after I had declared that I would never go sailing again and that I was sorry about fifty times). At one point the park ranger/security guy had even tried to wave us to shore to lend us a five gallon bucket to bail water, but in fear that we would get beached, we had to turn him down and head for the dock still water-logged.

***In addition, Ross discredits Warren for teaching me ANYTHING about sailing growing up and that I have absolutely no intelligence in regards to physics. :) :) :)

I think I will stick to "manning the jib" in future outings...after Baby Mort is here!!! :)

I'm on a boat...

It's official... after taking sailing classes at the beginning of the summer, Ross got the itch and we bought our own boat. I should really say that Ross has a boat. I watch the weather for temperature and humidity and Ross just cares about wind speed. He originally wanted a 16-foot Hobie Cat but he compromised for a more family-friendly version. It's called a Flying Junior. Now I can go sailing with him and not come home soaking wet, unless we capsize. We still have to get a trailor hitch and practice rigging the sails before trying it out on the lake, but we are excited to give it a try! If you're in DSM, I'm sure that he would be more than willing to take you out for an afternoon. :)

It's the little things...

I have been pondering what to do with the mess in my jewelry box for quite some time and hadn't found a good solution until now. It may not be most eye-appealing, but it was definitely another frugal project that met my needs. A hand-me-down bulletin board + some leftover eyelet fabric from making curtains for the basement + some thumbtacks and sawtooth hangers was all I needed. Fifteen minutes later and voila--a jewelry hanger in my closet to hold all of the odds and ends that don't quite fit into my jewelry box. You should give it a try! :) :)

Three months to go!

This picture was taken a week ago, already. It makes us laugh pretty hard. Pregnancy is such an amazing time in your life with so many changes! I look forward to the next three months.

Frank has been extremely active lately, mostly at night when I'm trying to sleep. :) I've found that I can get up and read for a little while until he settles down and then I can sleep. Ross has also been able to feel and see him move on a regular basis, which has been a lot of fun as well.

I start back to work next week. After a busy summer of classes and packed weekends, I am ready... although I'm definitely going to miss sleeping in. That's always the hardest adjustment! I'm hoping that getting back to work will make the days pass more quickly until Maria arrives.

Matt and Lauren had a baby girl, Claire Elizabeth, on August 1st. She's absolutely adorable! We are so excited to have "play dates" in the future. As Lauren says, Claire can also show Baby Mort the ropes... (even though Baby Mort may not take long to surpass her on the growth charts!) :)