And breathe, 2, 3, 4...

I've decided that we are too immature to bring a child into this world. Our first birthing class together confirmed this very idea. Within five minutes of our arrival Ross told me that he was in a laughing mood. When I asked what he meant, he took me back to our marriage counseling--possibly one of the most awkward moments we have shared. What he was referring to was when he snickered out loud, on more than one occasion, when our pastor said, "sex". It was like he had all of a sudden reverted back to an adolescent male. I was totally embarrassed, to say the least, and here he was again confessing that he was in the same type of mood.

Class got under way, but the relaxation music and awkwardness of sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers didn't go away. At one point the instructor showed an animated clip of a baby exiting the birth canal, which seemed relatively effortless. Trying to be funny, she followed it up by saying, "It rotated correctly and flew out of the womb like a space baby." I don't know if it was the way she said it, or just the mere fact that she referred to the baby as a space baby, but Ross and I couldn't help but to start snickering to ourselves in the back of the room. After class Ross told me that all he could think about at that moment was the dinner prayer in Talladega Nights about the "Little, sweet baby Jesus". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amyjDQiFsJ8

Later in the class we had to practice breathing and relaxation techniques, which included having chapstick readily available to "wet her whistle", to which Ross wrote down chopsticks and questioned their use as a biting tool (he couldn't read her writing on the board). We also had to rock back and forth, massage our legs, and breath in rhythmic cycles...in front of other people! Neither Ross nor I (because he had a turn as well) could look at each other or we would bust out laughing again. When asked to give positive reinforcement, Ross told me that we kicked the contraction's a$$, but after class corrected this statement by telling me that I actually sucked because I wasn't putting forth my best effort. :) :)

Here we come, Class #2!!